just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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