Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
