I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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