My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
