youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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