I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You left your phone here
Wait...
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