if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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