So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize