Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
