I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize