If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
This is my gift to your gina
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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