I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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