If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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