how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
