So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
