You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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