maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
