what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I need to align my fucking chakras
I came so hard my ears popped.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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