Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
