i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
