Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
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your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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