The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
