New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
