he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
