the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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