Kiss
Puke
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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