drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
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Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
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BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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