You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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