also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
