Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.