bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize