i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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