If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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