I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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