btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
