Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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