I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
