You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
