Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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