I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
