But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
