I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize