i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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