I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
