i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
