i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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