I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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