shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
i've created a new STD.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
