My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize