oh god the rape fog is back!
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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