Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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