I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
