She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i just google imaged poop.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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