There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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