Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.

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(407): View more from Florida

woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.

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(989): View more from Michigan

It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.

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(716): View more from New York

crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(816): View more from Missouri

Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.

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(443): View more from Maryland

.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket

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(304): View more from West Virginia

He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.

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