I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was