You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?