Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.

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(979): View more from Texas

You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands

(713): View more from Texas

When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.

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The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Read it at the TFLN blog
(928): View more from Arizona

You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.

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(813): View more from Florida

I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship

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(847): View more from Illinois

my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.

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(516): View more from New York

We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry

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