Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just cut my nipple shaving
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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