I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?