her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.