is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
