they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
