have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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