I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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