Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
