You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
