Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize