The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
