I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
