yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Randomize