I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
