I hate your face
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
