It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
